Big Breasts? A Blessing or a Curse?

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by Iris Ruth Pastor

 

Would I trade my oversized tatas for more moderate sized sisters?
I’ve pondered this question before.

Sprouted in 5th grade like fast growing weeds, my ta-tas skipped the training bra stage – which in the 1950s was no more than a glorified undershirt anyway. Yep, I slid right into a
double A cup size, to my mother’s horror. One day I was playing with dolls and the next I was surveying my silhouette in the full length mirror on my closet door – tummy tucked in
and shoulders straight.

My dad promptly became the Sultan of Surveillance, now eyeing all my male neighborhood buddies and kickball pals with open suspicion. I too was suspicious of the large bumps
suddenly jutting out underneath previously loose button down blouses. Boys snapped my bra straps constantly in Sunday School and girls stared at my ever-ripening chest no matter how modestly I dressed at all those Bar Mitzvah parties.

Quickly climbing the alphabet in cup size, my previously athletic and trim body transformed itself into an hourglass of curves. I lost my ability to run like the wind. And I lost the innocence of an anonymous childhood too.

My new reality:
Unsolicited cat calls from
construction workers
Lecherous looks from older men
Too long hugs from male family
relatives at Passover seders
Veiled looks of envy from other
females

My shoulders soon had deep grooves from my bra straps. I learned to avoid empire waist dresses and high-waist pants. I came close to suffocating in yoga class when my large
breasts simply prevented me from breathing deeply.

Forget jogging, sleeping on my stomach, going bra-less, wearing backless sundresses and flawlessly executing jumping jacks.

But now I have new information to add to my arsenal. A study of 1,200 women, conducted by Chicago sociologists, found that women with big busts average 10 IQ points higher than less well-endowed women. Lead researcher Dr. Yvonne Rossdale, herself a meager 32A, says, “The myth that women with voluptuous figures are not smart should now be shelved.”

Dr. Rossdale measured the busts of women then divided them into five categories roughly corresponding to bra sizes, A, B, C, D and DD or above.

She then gave subjects IQ tests and found that women in the Large and Extra-large category scored an average of 10 points higher than women in the Small and Extra-small
categories.

Experts aren’t sure why bigger headlights translate into more brain power. “One theory is that the female hormone estrogen, responsible for breast development and is also
believed to give women extra protection from heart disease, may also play a role in intelligence,” Dr. Rossdale says.(www.thephora.net)

For me it’s a no brainer. I love my humps. And yay for my IQ!

Knitted ta-tas:
Teenhealthsource.com

Iris Ruth Pastor is a slice-of-life author, blogger and motivational speaker.
Reach her at irisruthpastor@gmail.com

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