2020 VISION

I don’t claim to have magical powers or to own a crystal ball, but I figure now that I’m in the third phase of my Goddess cycle, (which is another way of saying that I’m old), I can own the wisdom that’s supposed to come with so many candles on the cake.

And since another holiday season is upon us and we’ll soon be welcoming a New Year, I’ve decided to channel some of this age-related wisdom and join the seers who make
predictions about what may lie ahead in 2020.

Below I offer my shortlist of breakthroughs to occur next year. Note that I have excluded politics. I’ll leave that to the pundits on your favorite cable news channel.

 

Space Travel: NASA will launch
a spaceship commanded solely
by female astronauts headed to
a previously unexplored planet,
while a spacecraft piloted by males
will be launched to another. If these
missions are successful, the world
will discover, once and for all, if
men actually do come from Mars
and women from Venus.

 

Medical Breakthroughs: If necessity is indeed the mother of invention, science will finally
unlock the secret of using stem cells to grow a pointed index finger. Rounded digits are so
yesterday when it comes to rapid texting or
signing one’s name on electronic signature pads that look like an Etch-A-Sketch.

 

 

The Debunker: What Color Is Puce?

Fashion: I predict that the hot color for spring
2020 will be puce and its true nature at
last defined. Watch for it during Fashion Week
when top designers will resurrect this
much-maligned reddish-purple gray-brown (and
sometimes putrid green shade) from
the sewer.

 

Nutrition: Move over kale and quinoa, and
make room for the super food of 2020 – the Indian
Gooseberry. Said to be useful for controlling cholesterol and persistent heartburn, it should be
taken in moderation to avoid the overwhelming desire to join a flash mob dance or star in a Bollywood movie.

 

Technology: Is the world ready
for the new and improved Roomba,
that robotic vacuum cleaner that
scurries throughout your home? The
latest version will not only be able
to empty itself when it becomes full,
but also take out the garbage, walk
the dog and water the plants.

 

 

“I want to wish all of you a
joyful holiday season and a
happy, healthy New Year.
I hope 2020 will be good
to you, even if none of my
predictions come true!
(swirls and sparkles)”

Susan Goldfein’s newest book, How to Complain When There’s Nothing
to Complain About, is available at Amazon.com. Read her blog at:
www.SusansUnfilteredWit.com. Email Susan at SusanGoldfein@aol.com

 

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