By Michael B. Wright
Hopefully, by the time you read this, COVID-19 will have become history. During the initial outbreak, I had three strikes against me concerning susceptibility: my age, my heart, and my diabetes, yet I never did enter panic mode. I did, however, take reasonable and responsible precautions. While I was a young boy, my parents actually taught me to wash my hands, and I’ve been doing it ever since.
The new media phrase du jour “these uncertain times” was pure overkill, I got sick of it very quickly, and if I ever hear it again, I’ll probably scream out loud (in a manly way, of course). I knew the definition of “epidemic”, but I wasn’t sure of “pandemic”, but with Siri’s help, I learned that it had nothing to do with the decimation of the Panda Bear population.
COVID-19 was scary for some, and eye-opening for most of us. We learned self-reliance, and that all calamities trigger toilet-paper shortages. We learned that most daytime television consists of boring, insipid, intellectually shallow programming.
This past March 14, my wife and I experienced our last social gathering before the onslaught of the Evil Bug. It was at a farmers’ market where my wife sells hand-made jewelry. I insisted that she use hand-sanitizer every time money was exchanged. I also voluntarily dismantled my kissing booth before being asked. It took an hour for police to quell the mob of angry, protesting women.
The self-quarantine that followed was tolerable. We had coffee, chocolate, wine, books, and each other. We were absolutely fine. When we first became “an item” my future bride told me that she would be perfectly content to be stranded alone with me on a desert island “forever and fifteen minutes”.
The quarantine put her to the test. I tried to make it easier for her by devoting time to doing the chores and projects that I told her six months prior: “I’ll do that as soon as I get a chance.”
I also did extensive research for my upcoming book, “1001 Ways to Doctor Instant Ramen noodle cups.”
These days Mike Wright can be found sitting on his lanai reflecting on the ordeal and questioning: “If everyone was wearing face masks, how could we know who the ‘bad guys’ were?”