Humor: Count! Dracula.

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Humor: Count! Dracula.

Thumbnail image from Pixabay

By Michael B. Wright 

One thing that I inherited from my father is diabetes (Type 2). Just recently, I had a scheduled follow-up visit to my doctor’s office a week after I had my blood work done. I approach these sessions with a degree of fearful anticipation as my mind replays every donut, every chip and dip combo and every tray that I slid through a buffet over the previous three months. I fully expect Dr. “D” to begin by shouting “WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN EATING?!!!” 

I was surprised when the response was quite the opposite this time. What changed is that I have become a carb-counter. Not just any carb-counter, but a “just this side of fanaticism” carb-counter. It’s been an eye-opening experience. For instance, I never knew that cheese has no carbs.  

Carb-counting comes easy

I’ve always preferred “grazing” to eating “by the clock,” and I currently stave off hunger by drinking water and snacking on nut trail mixes (5 carbs per serving, three servings per bag) and cheese, lots of cheese. Yet not enough cheese to make me comparable to Satan (who’s going to be “bound for a thousand years”). 

Image from Pixabay

My lab reports showed that my A1C has gone down, my blood pressure has declined, my triglycerides were borderline, which prompted a recommendation to drink even more water. Finally, I also had no protein showing up where it doesn’t belong. 

Sitting next to me, The Joy of my Life told our doctor that she was worried because I’ve been having memory issues. I chimed in, “I don’t think I do, in fact, I win trivia contests.” Dr. D then commenced reading me a long list of questions. This turned out to be a test of my memory. I aced it. The medical conclusion had to do with – (drum roll) – multi-tasking. Bottom line, as I attempt accomplishing too many things at once, I lose focus on the individual tasks (the Corporate World refuses to acknowledge this). 

Since then, except for turning on the washing machine, the dryer or the dishwasher, I do things one-at-a-time, completing each task before moving on to the next.  

No more coffee cups left in the microwave for days at a time, no more pots of water left on the burner until the contents boil away leaving a scorched pan, no more forgetting important names like that of the POTUS, President Presley. 

Mike Wright can be often found looking up his own phone number, if you know what it is, share it with him at micwrighthamo@gmail.com 

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