By Kathy A. Megyeri
Book: “Scratch My Itch, A Caregiver’s Honest, Humorous and Healing Stories About the Horrors of ALS,” by Cyndy Mamalian
More than 65 million people – 29% of the U.S. population – provide care for a chronically ill, disabled, or aged family member or friend during any given year. It takes a toll on one’s body and soul, but this book will give caregivers permission to prioritize self-care and extend themselves grace, forgiveness and encouragement.
In the book, Cyndy Mamalian shares engaging stories about the lessons she learned and the resilience and humor she found while caring for her mother for three years and experiencing the frustrations and horrors of an ALS diagnosis that made scratching an itch feel as futile as putting in contact lenses while wearing mittens.
Mamalian, who has a PhD in criminology from Rutgers University, is a mother of three, a children’s book author and a private school development director, so she is certainly adept at juggling duties, and caring for others. In the 11 years since her mother died, she has written of her journey of emotions, challenges and bits of humor that carried her through offer hope to others. Proceeds from book sales go to support much needed ALS research and will help infuse hope into curing such a dreaded disease.
Related: Book Review: “Unbecoming a Lady,” by Therese Oneill
For all readers – like me – who are caring for a loved one, Mamalian’s book is a godsend because she knows of what she writes. Her stories are honest and relatable, joyful and sad, and reflective from one who’s definitely a member of the “sandwich generation” juggling children, career and a sick parent at the same time. The book is brutally honest and beautifully written complete with repulsive, scary, exhausting and treasured memories of her mother who’s fighting this disease with no cure and who’s daily losing movement and the ability to express even the simplest idea or thought.
When my friends claim they’ll stay in their homes as they age and deal with life-threatening diseases, I shudder and think of the revolving door that author Mamalian compares to the TV show “The Bachelor.” She found escape and comfort in Diana Ross’ music, swimming at the YMCA and writing her mother’s eulogy as well as writing this book that is part love letter, part confession and party comedy.
Mamalian also discusses what happens when the journey ends and caregivers must clean up the mess and go on loving and living again. If every caregiver read this book, their days would be enriched and a little happier. I would feel better knowing that I had shared Mamalian’s story and maybe they wouldn’t feel so alone, no matter the type of illness or hurt their loved ones deal with.
After reading “Scratch My Itch,” I connected with what another reader said: “When I finished the book, I immediately wanted to call my mother, no matter that she’s now in her own little corner of the sky.”
