June is Bustin’ Out All Over

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June is Bustin’ Out All Over is not only a Rodgers and Hammerstein song from the 1945 musical Carousel, it was also the name of a illustrative feature in one of the Playboy magazines my Dad thought he had carefully hidden from my curious and prying preteen eyes.

It featured a semi-clad lass named June Wilkinson, whose measurements I still remember to this day: 43-22-36.

Imagine if you will that June was cast in the role of Beaver Cleaver’s mom on Leave It to Beaver? The ‘June Cleavage’ jokes would be overflowing (pun intended). Sorry, I digress.

My point is: Why can I evoke trivia such as June’s measurements when half the time I can’t recall important or encouraging scriptures? Or birthdays? Or the numbers for my favorite cable TV channels?

Is it because back in the day, Playboy left more to the imagination (sexier, I think), thereby leaving me to ponder the shape of those numbers for hours on end?

Wonder Bread builds strong bodies 8 ways

If you’re like me, you also recollect the intimate details from those old TV
commercials such as that delightfully ambiguous phrase: “Wonder Bread
helps to build strong bodies 8 ways” (and later – “12 ways”).

What exactly were the 12 ways in which sliced white bread could build strong bodies and did that have anything to do with the advent of the Truth in Advertising watchdog
agency?

I also recall when 9 out of 10 doctors recommended Dial hand soap because it contained hexachlorophene. Not so much anymore. Just Google: hexachlorophene or Phisohex side effects.

I know that “Crest has been shown to be an effective decay-preventing dentifrice when used in a conscientiously applied program of oral hygiene and regular professional care,” but I can’t remember to write toothpaste on the grocery list when I am running low.

And thanks to modern technology, I can no longer recall phone numbers, how to spell, how to do math equations, and how to write a letter in cursive. I mean have you looked at your own handwriting lately? Seriously. Driving Directions? Not a problem. I have Siri.

I hope this column meets the deadline for June since I’ve forgotten when the deadline is.

Michael Wright watches Jeopardy in the evening while countering his wife’s
comments that a contestant is “smart” with “No, they just remember a lot of
things!” You can join the discussion at micwrighthamo@gmail.com.

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