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Advice from Ms. Price
Dear Ms. Price,
I’m just going to say it straight out and let you know that my husband is a tight-wad. I’ve learned to live with it for the past 30 years, as have our children who have been forced to wear off-brand clothes, use bargain-basement computers and vacations that have never once been out of the state of Florida.
Our son is getting married in two months, and we’re hosting the rehearsal dinner. Ms. Price, my husband is insisting on using a Groupon. The whole family is beyond embarrassed, and my son is furious. This is a once-in-a-lifetime special event. How can I get him to see the light?
–Mrs. Not-So-Tightwad
Dear Mrs. Not-So-Tightwad,
I understand where you’re coming from, but I can also understand wanting to save money wherever and whenever possible, especially in this economy.
Can you afford this rehearsal dinner without a Groupon? If so, then sit down and have a family meeting. Make sure it is in a calm environment, the time is right and that your husband doesn’t feel like the family is ganging up on him. You want a conversation, not a confrontation.
Explain it to him as you did in your letter, the fact that this is a once-in-a-lifetime event and the use of a Groupon embarrasses everyone. I am sure your family can come up with solutions that won’t break the budget and will please you and your guests.
If you do end up agreeing on the use of the Groupon, contact the restaurant in advance and request discretion. I am sure they will comply.
Good luck and congratulations on the wedding.
Dear Ms. Price,
My husband and I saved our entire lives and were fortunate enough to buy a condo on the beach. It’s our dream come true. While the building isn’t a 55 and over community, all of the owners are seniors, which is one of the reasons we decided to move into this particular building.
Two months ago, our neighbor’s daughter and her four children moved into their two-bedroom condo. There are seven people living in a home just under 1,200 square feet. Needless to say, the noise is deafening.
We’ve always gotten along with our neighbors. In a recent conversation, she mentioned that her daughter and grandchildren would be living with them for the foreseeable future. She did ask me to come to her if I heard any noise. I took her up on her offer and mentioned that the sounds were very loud. She cut me off and is now trashing me to the neighbors.
I am sick to my stomach because of this. What do you suggest?
–Paradise Lost
Dear Paradise Lost,
I feel your pain, and I am so sorry for what you and your husband are going through. What a shame that your neighbor was not receptive to your comments, especially when solicited.
Despite the fact that your neighbors have not been cooperative and even a bit nasty about the situation, my suggestion is to try one more time to sit with them and have a productive conversation. Bring a plate of brownies, schedule a time to have a peaceful talk, and let them know you understand what a difficult situation this must be for them. I would suggest including your husband as well as her husband. Perhaps you can come up with some solutions and guidelines, along with some times that you can expect quiet, such as after 9 pm and before 9 am.
The bottom line is that children can be loud and having seven people in one condo is a recipe for noise and disruption. Most condominiums have sound and occupancy restrictions. If you can’t come up with a truce, go to the condo president or board of directors and file a complaint. If that doesn’t work, you may have to consult an attorney. Best of luck to you and your husband.
