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Aries
Greg Brady was quite the athlete. So much so that when the Brady Bunch went to Hawaii, Greg wowed the chicks with his smooth surfer moves. He did wipe out onto a bommie (surfer term for submerged rock) and scared the crap out of his family, but he was fine. And grateful. Be Greg Brady.
Taurus
Taureans enjoy consistency, peace, equanimity, things that have been scarce the past few months. Tony Nelson (Larry Hagman, I Dream of Jeannie) had issues embracing change before he was given his flight assignment. You know, the one where he found a bottle, found a genie, and a hit television show.
Gemini
Laura Petrie was the quintessential 60s housewife. From hosting dinner parties for Rob, dancing on the Alan Brady Show and baking cupcakes for little Rob’s kindergarten class, Laura was spreading herself too thin. My advice to Laura and all Gems, pick a lane. In a month, you’ll be glad you did.
Cancer
You’ve got to hand it to Colonel Robert Hogan of Hogan’s Heroes. He was as cool as a cucumber in spite of finding himself in a German POW camp. Achtung! Prisoner escapes were pending, there was the bitter cold and hunger to deal with, but Hogan would just chillax and play cards. You’re Bob Hogan.
Leo
Andy Griffith was practically perfect in every way. In one episode, Andy thought Ellie was trying to get him to marry her. Puhleese! She had no chemistry with that man and she set him straight, leaving the series after one season. Andy learned humility, and with perseverance, met Helen Crump.
Virgo
You’re the Professor from Gilligan’s Island and you’ve set off on the Minnow for a three-hour tour (right!). Unlike the other castaways, you didn’t pack because you took the tour description literally. That’s the bad news. The good news is that everything you truly need, you already have in abundance.
Libra
Thurston Howell, III was a spoiled, spoiled man. Money, yachts (I’ll bet he’s kicking himself for taking that low-rent Minnow excursion) and his bubbly wife, Lovey. Thurston might want to count his lucky stars and shower Lovey with diamonds, flowers and a penthouse in Tuscany. It’s boomerang time.
Scorpio
Samantha Stephens is a Scorpio from head to toe. In this episode she is all charm before the first commercial. Before the second commercial, she is persuasion personified. She ends the show by taking action on something she’s been avoiding. Turning second Darrin into first Darrin? You decide.
Sagittarius
Let’s face it, Darrin Stephens was a workaholic. I suppose he had to work hard to keep up that dreamy suburban home with that to-die-for brick oven kitchen I’ve been dreaming about since I was five. It’s okay to take your time for your big reveal. Will it be for McMahon & Tate or Samantha?
Capricorn
Peter Brady (aka Peter McHunky) is having a tough week. Poor Peter! He flunked a pop quiz and Mary Jo McMasters wouldn’t go to homecoming. Peter now refuses to go to the dance, but mom talks him into it. “See what happens,” she said. It’s a Brady-ending and (spoiler alert) Peter gets a girl.
Aquarius
Sister Bertrille (Sally Field, The Flying Nun) discovered her wings at the beginning of the show but had to learn to use them. In season two, Sister B may be a flying pro, but is still learning how to navigate. Flying might be cool but to plant the seeds of wisdom, one needs one foot on the ground.
Pisces
Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! Ms. Brady now has the energy and drive to put her best ideas to work. Light and enlightened, she’s working that whole high school-thang and is bound to be voted Most Likely to Succeed. With all of her magic juju, I am hoping she sets her sites a bit higher. World peace?
