This article is an excerpt from Bonnie’s e-book “Reflections on the Essence of Aging,” available free at www.bonnierossparker.com/essence-aging
By Bonnie Ross-Parker
When younger, I looked at “aging” and ‘older’ as the ‘end in sight’. I have no basis for that recollection other than my only grandparent who was definitely old! While she died relatively young by today’s standards, I can remember her living in a very modest one bedroom apartment which was always hot in Summer and cold in Winter! She walked slowly, was hard of hearing and suffered from years of losses, money issues, a very modest lifestyle and the aches and pains of aging. By contrast, Phil and I feel and, dare I say, look young, are savvy grandparents and fully engaged in an active/quality lifestyle. Far from my memories of my grandmother. We see the future with optimism, possibilities and adventure. We intend to make the best of what we have, experience new places and relationships and prove that aging is a number and not a circumstance.
Given there are hundreds of active 55+ communities nationwide, I think this proves we are a generation of active and involved adults who continue to enjoy life and have much to offer. That define us for sure. That is the residential/life style location we’re seeking. At this moment, my heart is filled with joy. The joy of having reached where I am, feeling healthy and alive and knowing that there is still more journey to travel are some of the reasons for me to embrace positive anticipation of what will unfold. I’m not weighted down with uncertainty. I’m flying high with gleeful expectation. Where will we live? Who will we meet? What activities will engage 7 my time and spirit? What challenges will I face head on and come away feeling successful? Yes, the future will reveal itself over time and that time is not too far off.
Phil and I have exploring to do as well as decisions to make and implement. We have 4-5 months to carry out our plan and before our current lease is up. Looking back, I never gave much thought to getting older. I just followed my heart, did what fulfilled me, sought to make a difference by engaging in and applying my experiences and trusting that the universe would support me. When I received my AARP card, it startled me. ‘Of age’ already I thought? Where did the time go? With a snap of a finger, I became of member of the Social Security/ Medicare community. Sure, this is definitely a sign that I’ve arrived into the world of aging. It also has its benefits! Discounts are some of the advantages of being ‘of age’. Our local bagel shop offers veteran/senior discounts. Home Depot does as well. Free coffee? Try Chick Fil A! Hertz honors AARP, Seniors, etc. We always go for the best deal at the time. Believe it or not, there are also caring individuals who welcome giving up a seat for seniors, holding open the door and offering first in line privileges! (Not often, however. When it does happen, I’m grateful.)
Related: Personally Speaking: “It Will Get Done… EVENTUALLY”
It’s fascinating what I valued during my youthful years has less impact than compared to what I value now. My family, my health and relationships are at the top my priority list. I value my time and experiences as moments to be treasured. Gone are thoughts of forever! They’ve been replaced with a sense of urgency and commitment to focus on this very moment. I no longer have to be concerned about my work, pleasing others and saying ‘yes’ when I really wanted to say ‘no’. My life and the years remaining are about bringing who I am and my experiences to a new community, spending time with my wonderful husband, visiting family and friends and getting involved in worthwhile activities. I don’t care about ads projecting youth, creams that eliminate wrinkles or living up to anyone else’s expectations. Those ideologies are gone. Youth is my history and the future is my destiny. I’m pleasantly overcome by a wonderful sense of freedom. “Grow old along with me!” Robert Browning wrote. “The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made.” To my way of thinking, the author is reminding me that what once was has prepared all of us for our next phase. It’s attitude that will make the difference. Optimism will light the way, lighten any burden and be our beacon. Accepting our remaining years as an adventure reminds me that one day I’ll be at the finish line. What I do from now until then 8 makes all the difference. Fully embracing this stage is cause for celebration. I get to ‘grow old’ when many are less fortunate. I get to experience being ‘older’ when others didn’t have that same opportunity. What a blessing to be alive and to acknowledge my great fortune.
