What a Way to Go

The Wright Stuff by Michael Wright logo
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Halloween will soon be here and no doubt we’ll be seeing all the old scary movies on TV including one of my childhood favorites, the 1931 classic Dracula starring Bela Lugosi.

 Dracula starring Bela Lugosi.
Dracula starring Bela Lugosi.
The King of Horror really sank his teeth into that role – even at death, when he was buried in his Dracula costume.

That invites that question: How would you like to be laid to rest?

Are you the more traditional type, likely to opt for a formal memorial service and burial? Or, do you favor one of the current popular trends, such as being cremated with a
Celebration of Life to follow?
Frank Sinatra - Ol’ Blue Eyes
Frank Sinatra – Ol’ Blue Eyes
Some of the most memorable funerals send the deceased off with things they may need in the afterlife. Friends of Ol’ Blue Eyes slipped a bottle of whiskey, a Zippo lighter, and ten dimes into his casket. The latter was just in case Sinatra wanted to phone home.

 

 

 

Picture of Luke Perry
Luke Perry

Actor Luke Perry expressed his desire to nourish the earth in an eco-friendly way. His body was enshrouded in a biodegradable mushroom suit in March. No word yet if mushrooms are sprouting up over his plot.

 

 

Rapper Tupac Shakur, a.k.a. 2Pac
Rapper Tupac Shakur, a.k.a. 2Pac
Rapper Tupac Shakur, a.k.a. 2Pac had what is perhaps one of the most bizarre departures. After his cremation, members of his crew reportedly mixed his ashes with weed and smoked him.
Other options include having one’s ashes pressurized into diamonds, shot into outer space, or infused into an artificial coral reef.

 

As for me, my plans keep changing. Back in the day, my best friend in the Navy and I decided that we would like to be commemorated with a jazzy New Orleans – style
funeral with music and dance.

More recently, I decided I’d rather be thrown off the cliff at Sutton Bank in Northern England so I could have beautiful views of the countryside on my way down. But my son, Bill, reminded me I might kill someone below.
 Kilburn White Horse cutout on the southern flank of Sutton Bank.
Kilburn White Horse cutout on the southern flank of Sutton Bank.

The windy Sutton Bank is also used for the sport of ridge soaring, so I’ve updated my request. I’ve asked my wife, Joy, to scatter my ashes while hang gliding from the famed Kilburn White Horse cutout on the southern flank of Sutton Bank.

Realistically, this is not likely to
happen. She’s become more sedentary
lately and won’t even go zip-lining.
More than likely, my destiny is to be
put into a large Mason jar and be used
as a doorstop.

This humble approach will likely look good on my afterlife resume.

Michael Wright lives in Mulberry. Contact him at micwrighthamo@gmail.com
if you are willing to spread his ashes while hang gliding over
England’s White Horse.
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