Wright Stuff: Nosewhere to Run, Nosewhere to Hyde

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By Michael B. Wright 

In mid-March, I had basal cell carcinoma removed from my nose. My cancer doctor and my plastic surgeon worked together as a team. During pre-op, my reconstructive surgeon gave me a large binder full of glossy 8” x 10” photos. He said, “Here you go, thumb through these and pick any nose you like.” It was a difficult choice. I finally decided on the Paul Newman but was told, “We’re sorry! Your insurance doesn’t cover that model. But we can offer you the Karl Malden at 30% off.” Tired and frustrated, I said I didn’t care as long as I ended up with two nostrils and could breathe. 

Post-surgery, I pretty much have my original nose albeit with a small lump on one side of the bridge, which I assume is to keep my glasses from falling off. If the swelling doesn’t go down, they promise to remedy it. 

Prior to the nose surgery I had to have a stress test done because I am dependent on a pacemaker. Turns out I had some blockages and needed a stent or two. I had a consultation with a top cardiologist who explained he would prefer doing a bypass over multiple stents. He is highly recommended among my peers, I am comfortable with him, and “fear of death” is in my past. My surgery is scheduled for May 4, and the next day people the world over will be celebrating my successful outcome. 

My only fear is from learning of some patients who had personality changes following heart surgeries, and not necessarily for the better. What if I’m going from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde? What if my wife likes Mr. Hyde better? What if the animals are terrified of me? What if I must now pay for two admissions to Disney World? 

May the Fourth be with me! 

If such perplexing questions have kept you up at night, share them with Mike at micwrighthamo@gmail.com.