By Michael B. Wright
I’ve only seen one or two Cary Grant movies in my life, although I know that one of my favorite TV characters, Peter Gunn, was patterned after him.
The classics I’ve missed include “To Catch a Thief,” however I did engage in the titled activity once-upon-a-time.
After the Joy of my life and I tied the knot in wedded bliss, we shared the first of many apartments together. Our good friend Raymond was the landlord over two of our apartment buildings. He also lived in the house next door, which meant that we were the only tenants with swimming pool privileges.
Related: Wright Stuff: “Mowing Old Together”
We had subscribed to the Tampa Tribune for quite a while when the morning paper started disappearing. A call to the circulation office confirmed our deliveries. It brought to my mind 1 Thessalonians 5:2 which reads, “For you yourselves know very well that Jehovah’s day is coming exactly as a thief in the night.”
So to thwart “a newspaper thief in the night” one must be awake. Again I called circulation and requested that my carrier lightly rap on my door as he delivered my paper in the morning. He did so, waking me up. I immediately got my paper and slipped the open end slightly under the door after I’d tied a length of yarn to it. I tied the other end to a small watering can and lay down next to it to doze off.
I was shortly thereafter awakened by the metallic rattle as the can was dragged across the terrazzo floor. I sprang up and flung the door open while shouting, “Give me my paper!”
A short, gray-haired lady stood stuttering and stammering an excuse as the yarn dangled from the paper in her hand.
We reported the crime to Raymond who responded, “You’ve gotta be kidding! That sweet little old lady is a nurse.”
Probably due to a guilty conscience, she moved out within two weeks, which made me feel guilty.
Mike is sad that increased paper and ink costs have driven every newspaper he ever delivered (or read) out of business. If you miss a favorite newspaper, share your loss with Mike at micwrighthamo@gmail.com.
