Want amazing sex after 60? Here’s how.

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sex after 60

By Michele D. Baker 

Adapted from and based on “Guide to Sex After 60,” medically reviewed by Carol DerSarkissian, MD on February 22, 2023 and written by Janie McQueen 

Amazing sex after 60? That’s a big yes. Many mature couples have better love lives than they did in their more youthful days. There are lots of reasons for this. They have deeper intimacy with partners, fewer distractions, no pregnancy concerns, and more time to get busy. Plus, they have much more “know-how” and “done-that” than those young things on TV. 

Hormonal Changes 

Around midlife, new issues can temporarily dampen your love life, though. Sex hormones take a big dip. For women, menopause brings a plunge in estrogen and androgens, which may cause vaginal dryness. Men see a nosedive of testosterone and estrogen about the same time, making erectile dysfunction (ED) a possibility. Changes in the brain and your blood flow switch things up, too. 

Related: Healthy Geezer: The Truth About Menopause 

Medical Challenges to Healthy Sex 

Diabetes can cause ED in men, especially those with type 2. Poor blood sugar control can, over time, damage nerves and blood vessels that supply sex organs. Women with diabetes can also have less feeling in their genitals and more yeast infections.  

Heart disease makes your arteries narrow and harden, so your blood doesn’t flow as easily. You might find it more difficult to get aroused or have orgasms, but once it’s treated, your doctor will likely give you the green light.  

Other medical conditions that can affect your sex life include weight gain, arthritis, chronic pain, bladder control problems, dementia, high blood pressure or cholesterol, side effects from meds, depression, and stroke. Also, surgery can affect your self-image and how you feel.  

Talk with each other about ways you can stay close. When you can, put aside caregiving roles and focus on being a sexual partner. And when you talk about your feelings and needs, do it from an “I” standpoint: “I’d enjoy it if we…” This lets you express yourself without hurting feelings. 

Related: Staying Sexy After 60: Starting a Sexual Revolution 

Get Creative 

Common sense and a creative spirit can spark new ways to enjoy sex. For example, if a flat surface doesn’t work for your knees, a new position or special furniture can offer another angle. If you have problems getting aroused, a vibrator can help get blood moving. It’s natural to worry about “getting back into the swing of things” if you’ve been inactive for a while. But just having sex can help you relax and let desire take the lead.  

Different Strokes 

You can be intimate and loving – and sexy, too – without intercourse. Lovemaking includes caressing, hugging, kissing, and manual or oral stimulation. Any loving or intimate expression can make your intimate life full. If you don’t have a partner, self-stimulation is a healthy, satisfying route to reap the many benefits of sex. 

Why You Should Bother 

Why bother, you ask? The benefits of sex are many. It boosts your immune system, burns calories, lowers blood pressure, helps you relax, eases pain, keeps your mind sharp, and may lessen the risk of heart attack and prostate cancer. It keeps you and your partner close, and it just may help you live longer. Oh, and it makes you happy! 

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